I clutched my suitcase tightly. Everything I owned was in my hands.
There wasn't much, now that I think about it, but then it was my whole world.
Part of me ached, I think sensing what was to come, but I was mostly excited. Thrilled.
I was free, adventure was on the horizon. I didn't look back on the orphanage where I had spent all my life.
Oh, how naive I was. Young, innocent still. I wish...
But I must get on with the story.
I skipped out the gate, the black iron fence glaring at my back as I left. It was sunny, I remember, the first sunny day in weeks. Everything surrounding me was the dull city grey. The buildings, the sidewalks, the street. Occasionally there were browns and blacks, but for the most part it was the same dreary grey.
How did I stand it? I suppose because it was all I knew.
The streets were almost bare in my old neighborhood. The old beggar man everyone knew stood at the corner. I'm ashamed to say that in the ten years I'd seen him, I never spoke to him. Not once.
A woman hurried a little boy down the street. I smiled at his freckled little face.
Once I got to the market, the streets were far more crowded. I held my suitcase closer to my body. I managed to dart between people, thankful once more I was small.
The noises almost overwhelmed me. Of course I'd been to the market before, on errands, but I never really got used to it. People yelling about what they have to sell, dogs barking, ladies chatting away... There was so much.
I slipped through, grabbing a bit of food on the way.
And then I was out. Breathing a sigh of relief, I kept walking. I knew where the city wall was, and I headed there. Almost out.
That city was small, but to me it felt huge. I had no knowledge of the world outside. It was a bit after noon when I got to the wall. The gates were open, but there was practically no traffic. It wasn't an important city at all.
I finally looked back. One more step, and I left it all behind.
I took a step.
The road stretched in front of me, and I could where it curved up ahead. I continued, musing over things. I don't remember what I thought about. Probably the girls back at the orphanage. I didn't get along with them, except Gretchen. I would miss her. Her and Andrew, the boy who used to deliver groceries and stuff. But he had left about a year ago.
I was patient, back then. I just walked, all day. When nightfall came, I opened the suitcase and pulled out a blanket and curled up by the side of the road.
It was the third day before anything happened.
There wasn't much, now that I think about it, but then it was my whole world.
Part of me ached, I think sensing what was to come, but I was mostly excited. Thrilled.
I was free, adventure was on the horizon. I didn't look back on the orphanage where I had spent all my life.
Oh, how naive I was. Young, innocent still. I wish...
But I must get on with the story.
I skipped out the gate, the black iron fence glaring at my back as I left. It was sunny, I remember, the first sunny day in weeks. Everything surrounding me was the dull city grey. The buildings, the sidewalks, the street. Occasionally there were browns and blacks, but for the most part it was the same dreary grey.
How did I stand it? I suppose because it was all I knew.
The streets were almost bare in my old neighborhood. The old beggar man everyone knew stood at the corner. I'm ashamed to say that in the ten years I'd seen him, I never spoke to him. Not once.
A woman hurried a little boy down the street. I smiled at his freckled little face.
Once I got to the market, the streets were far more crowded. I held my suitcase closer to my body. I managed to dart between people, thankful once more I was small.
The noises almost overwhelmed me. Of course I'd been to the market before, on errands, but I never really got used to it. People yelling about what they have to sell, dogs barking, ladies chatting away... There was so much.
I slipped through, grabbing a bit of food on the way.
And then I was out. Breathing a sigh of relief, I kept walking. I knew where the city wall was, and I headed there. Almost out.
That city was small, but to me it felt huge. I had no knowledge of the world outside. It was a bit after noon when I got to the wall. The gates were open, but there was practically no traffic. It wasn't an important city at all.
I finally looked back. One more step, and I left it all behind.
I took a step.
The road stretched in front of me, and I could where it curved up ahead. I continued, musing over things. I don't remember what I thought about. Probably the girls back at the orphanage. I didn't get along with them, except Gretchen. I would miss her. Her and Andrew, the boy who used to deliver groceries and stuff. But he had left about a year ago.
I was patient, back then. I just walked, all day. When nightfall came, I opened the suitcase and pulled out a blanket and curled up by the side of the road.
It was the third day before anything happened.
Ooo, I like it Addi! You draw in the reader in such a unique way this time. It's like you're asking us to see your character in contrast to... the city. She is small, and it is big. You make the city come to life for the reader superbly! We can just seeeee all the people walking by; both in the periphery and the specific people her eyes linger on. We can see the bustle, then the emptiness. The buildings and market stalls on either side. The walls. We just see how huge this place is to her. She could totally go out and seek her fortunes in the wide city! =D ...But no. She goes FARTHER than that. Or should I say... /FuRTHER/? For it is metaphorical as well as physical. You make her departure into the wide world so huge by contrast to how large even the small city was to her. I love it!! And the hint of frame narrative as well, where we get her looking back on this. Nice flavor! And it feeds into your excellent ending as well. Just the curiosity which is, somehow, acceptable. We're ready to go on any adventure with this young lass, had this been a novel. Good job!
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